Being married for a decade

“I married him, reader”

On this day a whole decade ago, I signed a piece of paper in front of forty or so people saying I was willing to share my life with one other person. That’s a fairly formal way of saying “it’s my ten year wedding anniversary today, eek!”

I know what you’re thinking no “Jenny, you only look about 25. Where you a child bride?” and to that I’d blush sweetly and say thank you. The answer I’m afraid is no, I’m simply quite juvenile and camera filters have improved over the past few years…

The other thing that’s improved in that time is my ability to reflect, so today, in honor of this milestone, I’m sharing with you what being in a long term relationship has taught me.

You’re not a gold digger if your partner pays for more things than you. This might sounds ridiculous, or old fashioned, take it as you will, but when the Mr and I first started going out one of his ‘friends’ said he should watch himself around me because I was I gold digging bitch. I was furious, and at the time it was highly untrue (he lived in MY house and our incomes were pretty similar). Over the years our salaries, jobs and approach to paying for our lifestyle have changed a lot, and between us we have agreed what we are both happy with. I’m secure in the fact that he sometimes pays for more because he wants to, and he’s fully aware that I’d be aiming for someone older and richer if I was in fact after money. At least I think he’s aware of that.

I still find myself surprised by how much he loves me. Just when I think he’s told me or showed me in all the ways possible, he will say or do something that makes me sit back and go “wow, I didn’t know you cared that much”.

I still wear the trousers when I need to. My hubby is a LOT more opinionated and strong than people give him credit for in our relationship (people presume that because I’m more talkative he is therefore passive. Nope, not even close!) but that doesn’t mean there are times when he sees the benefit of sending me to bat when there’s a time I’m likely to make a stronger point or get a better result. I’m a very constructive complainer (yes, that’s a thing) and am less shy about being assertive in public, so I tend to handle the more difficult situations that need that kind of approach.

I gained the biggest cheerleader I’ve ever had. Don’t get me wrong, my mum is an amazing lady and has done a cracking job of inspiring and lifting me up, but she’s no longer at home for me every single day to pick me up off the floor if things are a bit rubbish or talk through my many random musings and ideas.

You can have a wonderfully close and healthy relationship without seeing each other on the toilet. Look; I’m not a prude, I know he poos and he knows I do, but I have zero desire to witness it unless of medical emergency.

Don’t get me wrong, there are also sometimes negative things to a long term relationship too – I’m not going to talk about those here because there really are very few of them, and if any were that bad I wouldn’t be writing this post at all!

I feel extremely lucky to have my Husband in my life. He’s a decent bloke who is very clever, insightful and kind. He’s also silly as hell, but that’s only a side I get to see (which is a real shame because he’s hilarious). Here’s to the next 10 years and beyond!

Thanks for reading,

J xx


Thoughts and actions that creative minds will totally relate to

Having a great idea for a concept, sitting down to do it and thinking “how the frick do I start this?”

Having tonnes of scrappy bits of paper/phone notes with random words and phrases on so you don’t forget ideas, but then they languish at the bottom of your bag and you forget to look at them for weeks

Getting a sudden flash of inspiration whilst doing something else creative, and you must stop immediately to do the new thing.

Getting the best spark of creativity you’ve had all day as you’re trying to drift off to sleep, but not acting on it because you know your other half would kick off if you got up to work on it and kept them awake.

Doing all the little tasks around your house that’d land you an Olympic gold in procrastination.

Thanks for reading, J xx


Should we dress to impress?

Dress to impress. That phrase we’ve all heard umpteen times, seen on invitations, heard Gok Wan utter on dozens of TV shows over the years.

But what does it really mean; what is the definition of dressing to impress? Should we dress to impress, and if so who is it exactly is it that we’re trying to impress?

Dress up for your man. Now, how da hellllll do you do this?? When you’ve been in a relationship for over a decade as I have, your other half is either brutally honest about outfits they hate you in or say you look nice to get you out the door without having a meltdown (this is not to say he doesn’t ever genuinely like what I wear, but I’m tuned in enough to know the difference). We can only guess what men would be impressed by us wearing, and (spoiler alert) it may not be something you’re necessarily comfortable in. I’m not saying all men are into boobs out/short skirts/tight clothing (not all together obvs) but I’m willing to bet most of our stereotypical minds think they are most of the time.

Dress for the approval or other woman. This tends to be the one people do the most. We don’t say we do it, but I know from experience that I feel way more chuffed when a female has come up to me and asked about what I’m wearing. A lot of clothing women appreciate tends to be referred to as ‘man repelling’ which kind of backs up what I said earlier about what we think men want to see women wearing. But then, every woman has her own opinion about what looks nice too – some are into showing off what they’ve got, some are fashun forward to the enth degree, others may be docs and tee dresses all day errrr day.

Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. If you want to be a zoo keeper – should you wear khaki and carry a massive net? (I fully appreciate this is a super outdated stereotype, given I used to work in an industry where I came into contact with animal keepers). OK, that’s a bit of an outlandish example, but you get my point. For other more ‘usual jobs’ this is more ambiguous I’d say – my day job is marketing, but during my career I’ve worked in environments where I have to be very smartly dressed and others were being casual is encouraged. So if someone who wanted to work in the same profession wanted to impress and didn’t know the company culture, what would they wear? The default would likely be a suit or similar, but that could disengage the interviewers if that’s not how they do things.

Dress for yourself. THIS IS THE ONE YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO. Think about it – nobody knows better than you what you like, what you feel good in, what suits your shape and lifestyle. Only you can truly tell yourself that you feel good in what you have on (I don’t care how many people pay you compliments about your appearance; if you don’t believe it yourself it’ll never stick) and when that happens confidence will radiate out of you. I’ve you’re feeling confident the world will notice and respond to that – people you’re attracted to, other girls, a prospective employer. Now that’s impressive.

Thanks for reading, J xx


Let’s Chat – February 2020

For a short month (even though we had an extra day in it this year) I’ve had a super busy time!

Slight disclaimer – I’ve been pretty terrible at taking pictures of what I’ve been wearing (hair and nails are in) but I can reveal I’ve been enjoying a lot of faux leather and statement sleeves..

  • Bad Boys for Life soundtrack
  • Bon Jovi Jonas Brothers
  • Throwback hits on Viking FM

  • Bad Boys for Life: it’s the perfect balance between super serious action film and cheesy cop comedy, deffo recommend
  • Sex Education season 2: even more unanswered questions than the end of last season, sure there’s going to be a third, right?

  • -Saw Michael McIntyre live: last minute warm up gig for his Netflix spesh
  • Saw Lloyd Griffith live: #LetLloydSingAtWembley
  • Saw Jimmy Carr live: a crazy woman claiming she was called Hilary Clinton heckled, a LOT
  • I went on the radio: this time I was on the BBC Radio Humberside afternoon show talking about how blogging can make you more employable (based on this post)
  • Saw Phil Wang live: have we seen a pattern for the month here?? Usually our comedy gigs are far more spaced out, but if ever there was a time I needed a good laugh it’s now so I’m kinda grateful
  • Holiday booking: I’ve booked a girls trip to Ibiza for the month after for my sister-in-law’s 40th birthday. We’re doing the full shebang with Ocean Beach and everything. I’m excited yet a bit scared!
  • I met Latrice Royale: After being kindly gifted entry to the first Pride in Hull Queer AF event in January, myself and Kat booked (and paid for) tickets to the second event which was headlined by Drag Race Season 4 alum Latrice.

2020 is already proving pretty busy and expensive, but I’m very much here for it so far!

Thanks for reading, J xx


It’s OK not to be OK, but is it OK not to want to talk about not being OK?

If you made it through the tong twisting title, thanks for sticking with me on this one!*

It’s OK not to be OK. How many times have you heard or read this phrase? A fair few I’m willing to bet. I’m not going to dispute the authenticity of it, because I firmly believe it to be true. Everybody is different and reactions to different scenarios are a very individual thing. Just because you’re OK with something and somebody else is not doesn’t give you the right to question why they’re not, they’re just not. More importantly, they may not even know why they’re not.

Not being OK (and to be clear, by ‘not OK’ I’m talking about mental health) can be a difficult concept to grasp but those who are OK. It’s tough to understand something you have no experience with, and I do think we forget that when we see people behaving less than supportively towards those struggling. On one hand, it’s a positive that they’ve never been through illness that can be so dibilitating. On the other, they will never have the complete picture of exactly how the human brain can do torturous things to its host, or how it can receive the actions of others. You may live with someone or have a friend that’s gone through mental health issues and think you get it, but unless it’s you personally then you just don’t.

Whether you understand mental health and illness personally or not, every single person can choose how they approach and deal with those who these issues. Any human being is capable of showing understanding, kindness and support, yet some (an increasing number of, alarmingly) choose not to be these things. THAT’S the problem.

I think if society were to tackle mental wellbeing by starting with the people who are responsible for a lack of awareness and empathy that we’d stand a better chance of getting this in hand. You see, for once – it’s not you, it’s them. There can be all the destigmatisation and and support services in the land, but if people are still running around behaving like bad human beings then it’s kinda pointless.

I think most importantly, we all need to bear in mind that absolutely anybody could suffer with their mental health and some point without actually having a long term mental health condition. If you are somebody that currently doesn’t behave as a decent human being when approaching the mental health of others, I hope you bear this in mind.

Thanks for reading, J xx

Disclaimer: All of the words above are my personal opinions. They are not intended to offend, simply open a discussion on a very hot topic from a different perspective.


“Being a blogger isn’t a real job” Wrong – it is, AND it makes you more employable

This phrase really boils my p**s. Partly because it’s uttered by people who have very little knowledge of what blogging means and what’s involved with doing it, but mainly because it’s a statement that isn’t true.

I don’t work for myself currently or as a full time blogger, but I know people who are, so yes it in fact it is a real job that is reconfised by the marketing industry as part of a fully integrated strategy for communications. However, I want to talk more about the skills and experience blogging can provide you with to help you improve your professional experience overall.

Being a blogger has allowed me to get a foot in the door at interviews and move into a career that’s more me (I went from being a Mortgage Advisor to working in Marketing). Obviously, my degree is also a huge player in that, but feedback from interviewers (and the job offers that followed) told me it gave me an edge over other candidates. I also have many other friends that have shared experience of this, so it’s definitely a thing!

So here, I’m flinging the door wide open and showing you how this fantastic hobby (or side hustle, as I like to call it) can really benefit you in the real world.

Copywriting. I’ve always LOVED writing (and love is not a word I use freely) so it’s no surprise that my hobby includes putting pen to paper (well, fingers to iPad). Developing your use of the written word, forming your own ‘style’ and being able to adapt that is a huge asset for any job you have, not just marketing or full time blogging. Sending e-mails, writing instructions, completing briefs, they all require good written communication.

Professional networking. Blogger events aren’t just a lovely fun day out where you can pick up useful tips to boot, they’re also a chance to meet and mingle with new people. This is basically LinkedIn live, and realistically, how many of your contacts do you have the chance to meet IRL? This is the perfect chance to gain confidence in speaking to new people as well as making meaningful connections that could help you on your future blogging path.

Organisation. If you have any hobby you’re passionate about, you plan your time outside of work around doing it. If want to keep your posts regular, your social media content flowing and engagement with the community (online and in person) you need to get yourself into an organised frame of mind!

Pitching. By this I mean liaising with companies to secure joint activity – whether this be paid ads, gifting opportunities, press trips or event attendance. I’m going to say this loud and clear so y’all can hear me in the back “JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A BLOGGER YOU ARE NOT AUTOMATICALLY ENTITLED TO BE GIVEN FREE STUFF AND BE INVITED TO AMAZING PARTIES EYC ETC”. This is the biggest misconception

Working on your own or as part of a team. I’ve always said that blogging can be quite a solo pursuit at times, it’s basically you writing what you think and feel about stuff on the Internet. However it allows you opportunities to work with other Bloggers or companies on campaigns, articles or even trips, which involves a bit more of a team working and collaborative approach. In my blogging journey, I’ve taken this a step further and thrown myself to the forefront by helping to create and launch a blogging community, HEY Bloggers. There are four of us working on this and are accountable for different aspects of what this entails, which involves a huge amount of regular and clear communication and comraderie to ensure our team remains effective for the benefit of the community.

Prioritising workload. Just like at any other job, there are deadlines. They may be set by a company you’re working with to produce content by X date, or they may just be deadlines you’ve set for yourself e.g. certain dates of the week you want to upload new posts. The best way to meet deadlines? Look at all the jobs you have and prioritise them in order of importance. This is a life skill, not just a work skill. Not only that, but if you can also learn to adapt and re-prioritise your workload at short notice, you will become catnip to prospective employers.

If you’re a blogger, I hope this has reminded you of the great qualities you’ve developed as a result. If you’re not a blogger, I hope that having a bit more insight into our world gives a better understanding of why this profession/hobby/side hustle adds so much value to the world of work.

Thanks for reading,

J xx


It’s OK to want to change things about yourself without feeling like you’re hating on the world at large

As I was growing up I lived as part of a society that taught me only one body was desirable to the opposite sex – Petite, slim, big boobs and long hair. In my teens people like Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce came into the world of celebrity, and with their big booties and curvy hips they managed to gently prod a generation into seeing a different kind of attractive.

Fast forward to the present day, and the world has evolved again. Now we’re told that all body types are beautiful and should be embraced/celebrated, and that we should love our own body for what it is rather than what it could be.

But is it as simple as that?

No, it’s not. I’d like to go on record saying that I wholeheartedly support a society that acknowledges humans come in a wide variety of forms and to ensure that all are catered for as fairly as possible. I have a great admiration for people in the public eye and that I know in real life who project a confidence and sex appeal that I could only ever dream of. I fiercely stand by the opinion that fad diets/products DO NOT WORK (it still both bemuses and concerns me that a post I did about trying Boombod 2 years ago is still one of my most read every single month) however I do believe in eating plans that encourage moderation and good habits such as Slimming World.

So with all of these beliefs firmly planted in my mind, would it surprise you to learn that there are things I can’t accept and would like to change about myself? Because there are, and I do.

Thanks in part to J-Lo and Queen Bey, I feel confident in accepting that my body shape isn’t straight up and down, its somewhere closer to a pear (curvy hips and bigger thigh/bum area) but what I’ve never been able to fully accept is the size of my body, and this is the aspect I want to address.

There are many reasons why I dislike my body size. Primarily, it’s because it represents unhappiness. My body is the result of emotional eating caused by a period of difficult situations, and through lethargy caused by my fragile state of mind as a result. If I knew that inside I was healthy and happy, and that my weight gain was a sign of enjoying life, then I hav3le no doubt that I would feel differently about the reflection staring back at me. If each extra pound represented a romantic meal or nights on the town drinking cocktails with the girls, there’d be a valid and enjoyable reason. Don’t get me wrong; I have done those things, but far more rarely.

And this is why I think it’s OK for me to say that there are things I don’t like about my body shape or size whilst still being absolutely accepting of those that look different to me, similar to me or don’t want to look how I’d like to look. I’m not throwing shade at any of those people, I’m simply saying that’s not the right thing for me. I’m saying that I acknowledge I’m not completely happy or healthy and that I’d like to take action to change this. I’m saying that I’ve been through hell and my exterior reminds me of this every bloody day, which makes me feel worse. I’m saying that it will take more than a change in mindset to be able to accept what I look like. Finally, I’m saying that I am a different person to you – I’m built to think, feel and react differently, so my actions are going to be different to other people’s.

If people don’t like my opinions, that’s fine. As I said, everybody is different and has their own truth. However, they are valid and are mine. To say otherwise wouldn’t be very accepting of ME, would it?

Thanks for reading,

J xx