The art of not giving a fuck

I did think about putting a couple of ** in the title, but then thought “why? The whole point is NOT to give a crap right?

Throughout all of this, however, I’ve learned that unfortunately, you can’t always alter your mind perception (at least not fully, 100% of the time) and that you have to seek out another way to cope so that you can get up and leave the house every day.

And for me, the answer was given to me by the good folks who wrote Book of Mormon: turn it off.

Turn it off. Push the feelings of feeling like utter crap to one side, put my fingers in my ears singing “lalalalala I can’t hear you”, utter state of denial. This may not sound healthy, but it’s what I do.

Think of it as being a model or actress. In front of the camera, they become someone else, another character, and get the results they needed. So that’s sometimes what I feel I need to do. Beyonce has Sasha Fierce, Stefanie Germanotta has Lady Gaga, and I have Princess J-Bar*.

* I don’t actually refer to myself as Princess J-Bar; I once joked to the Mr that this would be my rap name so refer to that when I’m trying to be funny.

Swimsuit, Next / Rose gold sunglasses, ASOS / Black sunglasses Dorothy Perkins / Biker jacket, ASOS / Dress, Dorothy Perkins

So now you know. You may not agree with it, and that’s fine, but you may also think “I could totally try that” and it may just be the thing that gets you out of the house and back in the game.

Whatever you think, cheers for reading my ramblings!

J xx

2017 Week 2- developing a plan to take over the world, one post at a time…and an OOTD fail (kinda)

I decided to try and tackle my lack of confidence and blogging mojo this week, for which I turned to Courtney. As you may have read in some of posts in 2016, Courtney and I founded the Hull Foodie project as an offshoot of the Hull Bloggers collective that we’re both actively involved in. We’ve really enjoyed what we’ve done with us so far, but have decided that we want to up the ante in 2017 – try more places, promote more local businesses and encourage people to jump on board with us. 

Naturally food was involved in our meeting , to talk about it and not chow down may have been a bit torturous! We headed to Furley & co where we had had Philly cheese steak sandwiches and Haloumi fries with sweet chilli dip, yummy. 

We’re still talking about the finer details so there’s no gossip we can spill yet, but I promise we will when we can! It was great to get some creative juices flowing and actually talk through ideas I’d had in my head with someone who could either tell me they were great or they sucked (thankfully Courtney and I are on the same page so it was more of the former) which started to take care of the blogging mojo issue. Jumper Missy Empire/ Jeans Top Shop (Jamie)/ OTK boots EGO

Th second issue of self confidence proved it was going to be a little tougher to crack. 

I’d decided that I wanted to try and shoot some OOTD pics on our outing, which for various reasons didn’t really turn out as I hoped (hence me looking downcast) which definitely dented my confidence a teeny bit more. I know that most people have days where they don’t feel that great about themselves, it’s just frustrating having more bad days than good at the moment. But I’ll keep trying to dress up and show up, and hopefully I’ll get there soon.

Stay Sylish, 

J 😘xx

BEAUTY/ From brunette to blonde

Historically I’m a  gal who gets bored with her hair pretty easily. However, for the last year I’ve kept it pretty easy and simple – my natural brunette colour (with a slight touch of a warm red) in a mid length style. But I started to get itchy feet again to really change it up and push myself out of my comfort zone, thinking that being brave with my look may give me a bit of confidence back.
Anybody that’s followed my posts for a little while may remember that I’ve had a bit of a blonde dip dye in the past (see pic below) but this time I wanted more. I wanted more blonde, lighter blonde and a choppier style to make it look textured and cool. 
InspoThese are some of the reference pics I collected to get a feel for what I wanted that I shared with my gal Chelsea (who works her talents at cook: hair in Anlaby). 

As I had a lot of dark colour on my hair already I knew it was going to take a few attempts to get to a point that I was completely happy with the colour. However, I also knew Chels would make it look good at every stage so I wasn’t worried!

Start point Dark brown (my natural shade) with just passed shoulder length hair.

To really kick start the lightening process I had bleach applied through the lengths which stayed on for a good couple of hours, using foils so that the look would be more naturally woven in to the brown rather than two separate blocks of colour. In the meantime my roots were touched up with my natural brown to keep a glossy contrast (and possibly to hide a few cheeky silver strands).

 After treatment 1
The colour came out as very light brown-almost dark blonde colour that actually looked really lovely when a toner had been put over the top. This was the point that it could’ve looked too ‘warm’ and orangey if not done by someone who didn’t know what they were doing! Sadly, I speak from experience…

I looked after my ‘do with colour protect and purple shampoo in between my first and second treatment, but as the toner washed out (about 2/3 weeks after) it did become a little warmer towards the mid lengths.

This time Chelsea freshened my roots again and applied more bleach (using foils again to blend) which was left to develop for about an hour, before rinsing and applying a toner.

After treatment 2Voila, unmistakable blondie! The colour is beautifully blended and a gorgeous shade I’m super happy with, for now…hehe. For the style Chelsea took a bit more off the length to my shoulders (I have a short-ish neck so from the front it still looks pretty long) added in a bit more feathering round the front (to match my existing shorter fringe-y bits) and emphasised my choppy layer section.

I’ve spent a lot of time experimenting with hair products for bottle blondes during this process, so I’ll be doing a post on the ones that worked well for me soon. In the meantime thanks for stopping by, hope you like my new look!

Stay Stylish,

J 😘xx

FASHION/ What we wear, how we feel and what it says 

This week I read an interesting article in The Guardian (yup that’s right, I’m THAT well read now I’m a graduate!) that says it take a potential client a mere 7 seconds to determine whether someone looks professional and approachable- Workplace dress codes are ultimately a form of branding because “taking pride in your appearance proves you care about your career.”

This happens to be something I really believe in – as shallow as it may sound, you can’t see a person’s competence or a great personality across a crowded room, but you can see how they’ve chosen to present themselves to the outside world. Whether we like it or not, a lot of us do give people’s look a once over (some more subtly than others) so this is first judgement made about you.

With this in mind I thought I’d really put my own beliefs to the test- document everything I wear during the working week, how I felt and what I wanted it to say. *FYI: These selfies are rubbish because it’s not dark when I leave the house so there’s no natural light!*

Monday   Vibe: It’s Monday and I want to feel cool and wear my fave colour palette. I felt comfortable & stylish, leading to a productive start to the working week.

Hat Dorothy Perkins, similar here/ Top Primark/ Sleeveless Jacket In the Style/ Jeggings /Boots New Look

Tuesday   Vibe: Sassy and autumnal. 

Dress Next/ Boots Solewish

Wednesday   Vibe: it’s hump day and I’ve run out of fash steam a bit already! I felt simple yet professional. I got a little boost around lunchtime when a colleague from another office stopped me and said “you look nice; but then you always do” ahhh

Roll Neck New Look/ Trousers Pretty Little Thing/ Shoe Boots Dorothy Perkins

Thursday   Vibe: back to sass; last day of the working week (FYI- the roll neck is grey, pinafore is black with hot ounk/white check). I felt a bit chilly without tights, to be honest! But kinda Clueless ‘n cute; the girl in the office next door to me said she loved the look.

Roll Neck New Look/ Pinafore Dorothy Perkins (sold out online, other designs here)/ Boots, Sole Wish as before

Friday   Vibe: the weekend has started and I want to be all kinds of cosy. I felt cosy and relaxed- add in a lovely cup of tea and daytime TV followed by coffee and shopping with Mama Alice and I’d nailed it!

Jumper Top Shop (sold out in Pink, shop it in mint here)/ Jeans Top Shop/ Shoe Boots Primark

 Saturday  Vibe: I want to go casual, but like sassy casual, because I’m going out into town and people I know may see me!

Bodysuit Top Shop/Jeans Top Shop/ Boots New Look as before/ Coat Missguided

Result? I’m very aware of what I’m wearing and how I want it to make me feel, which definitely impacts on how well my day can go. But then, I knew that already- if you feel you look on the outside, it can be hugely impactful to the stuff that’s happening on the inside. And, as someone who sometimes doesn’t have the most pleasant things going on inside, that’s a really important tool to have. Call it vain, self absorbed, whatever you want, it’s my armour and I own that.

Thanks for reading, Stay Stylish 

J 😘xx