Let’s Chat – April 2020

We’re not going out, so you’d think they wouldn’t be much to report on this month. That’s kind of true, buutttt…we live in an age where we can do lots from home thanks to modern technology, so I’ve been pretty much living my life but in a slightly smaller space.

April Jenny still repped a lot of PJs and loungewear, however she also got dressed in some nice frocks for being in the garden or for the couple of occasions she had to go out of the house (If anyone wants to know where any of the items are from, leave me a comment at the end)

  • American Pie movies: the Mr had an urge to watch them again so out they came. They’re in that nice ‘easy, funny, escapist’ category which is needed right now.
  • Gogglebox: how have I NEVER watched this before? It’s so funny! I’m nosey and like peeking in to other people’s lives, and it’s also kind of reassuring to know that other people have the same kind of chats about programmes as we do at home.
  • Tiger King: I wasn’t going to watch this but social media chat got the better of me. It was definitely a watch! And (don’t @ me) I dont think Carole Baskin killed her husband….
  • Inform Overload: this is a YouTube channel that I’ve just discovered. They do a lot of videos about influencers and celebs that help to provide body positivity/reality (sometimes with a little bit of shade thrown in, full disclosure) which I’ve found both interesting and comforting.
  • My lockdown 2020 playlist: I made myself a little playlist on Spotify – it has everything from songs I love to cheese to those poking fun at the situation
  • Katherine Ryan, Telling Everybody Everything: This is the brand new podcast by ‘TV’s Katherine Ryan’ about a variety of topics including first love and pregnancy loss. She does it by herself which is kind of unusual for a podcast, but it’s no different to her doing a stand up routine
  • Said goodbye to my lovely nan: my nan’s funeral was held early in the month (which my family scheduled around mine and the Mr’s self isolation so we could attend). It was a very different kind of service as you can imagine, we did it all ourselves as there was no celebrant. I also went the to go see her in the funeral home, something I wasn’t sure I’d be able to do but I found huge comfort in.
  • Messing about with makeup: I’ve either been bare faced with gross hair or in full glam. I was hoping my skills would improve but sadly they haven’t!
  • Exercise: either for a walk outdoors or a dance fit workout at home. I will say that I haven’t done something every single day, there have been a couple of occasions where I’ve barely moved for a few days in a row.
  • Dyed my hair Rihanna red: I tried light pink, then purple but neither worked, so I tried red and that worked a little bit too well! If I’d had my roots sorted it probably would’ve looked better, but I got over the look very quickly and am still trying to fade the colour out.
  • Drinking: I dont drink often but I’ve enjoyed a few tipples at times of the week where I wouldn’t normally…my most popular blog post at the moment is Make your own Pomada so other people are definitely doing this too! I’ve also been drinking a helluva lot of tea and coffee, but still not enough water.

So, that’s April done and on to May. We’re well into spring, let’s see if that brings us closer to beating this thing.

Thanks for reading, J xx


Things people who grew up in the late 90s/ early 00s can relate to

Most of these are night out related, but that’s basically all that happened…enjoy!

Going out ‘clubbing’ as a 16 year old and being able to do little more than flirt with the bouncer to get through the door of a pub (I feel bad for kids of modern day society who can experience this)

Rocking barrel curls as a special occasion/night out ‘do, if it didn’t give you a massive headache and last for days afterwards then it wasn’t good enough.

School Disco nights.

Tattoos of Chinese symbols.

Wearing low slung combat trousers with high heels (thank you Girls Aloud)

Going to the phone box outside Burger King and ringing for a taxi, it turning up 15 minutes later and costing elss than a fiver.

Ripping the waistband off your jeans to make it low slung, cool and frayed.

Dawson’s Creek.

Blonde highlights, no purple shampoo.

Unruly hair, no straighteners.

Thanks for reading, J xx


Why it’s better to learn to drive when you’re a bit older

Toot toot beep beep! I don’t admit this often, but I’m glad I can drive now. I passed my test in 2016 aged 32, so I was almost twice the age most people are when they first hit the road. And for me, that was absolutely the best decision.

Learning to drive is not always a young person’s game. In fact, I think for some people it’s a far better experience to wait until you’re at a later stage in life, and I’m going to tell you why that is below.

You can approach it with a more pragmatic attitude. Later in life you’ve probably accomplished a few things – perhaps a degree, a family, progressed in a career you enjoy, maybe even a Nobel prize. The point is, you know you’re capable of achieving good things when you set your mind to it, and this is not different. I started learning to drive right after I graduated (also as someone a bit older) and thought to myself “if I could do that, I can do this”

You fully understand the implications of driving. You’ll be just that bit more mindful that you’re in charge of a machine that has the potential to both help and hinder yourself and others. That should help to ensure that you remain vigilent and consciously competent throughout your driving life. To this day I remember stock phrases and nuggets of wisdom that my instructor gave to me.

You already know that a large majority of poeople on the roads have the potential to be dangerous dick heads. You may have been just a passenger until now but I bet you’ve seen it! I’d say the most important part of driving is to ensure you’re aware of other people’s mistakes and bad habits above your own.

The end result will make you feel just that bit more smug. You’ve probably been a public transport user your whole life (unless you’re lucky and have a very flexible partner/family member or paid chauffeur) that means working to someone else’s schedule, setting off even earlier and, delays and contending with waiting outdoors in all seasons. When you have your own method of transport and rely on yourself after so long, it means that little bit more. You don’t have to share your space, you can stay warm and dry, you drive to the exact place you’re going instead of the closest stop…

It opens even more doors and makes you feel even more valuable. When I got a call to say my grandparents were ill, I could immediately jump in the car and help them. I could do the pick ups/drop offs at hospital and take them food shopping every week. I have been able to go off to work meetings and events around the UK by myself, proving I am capable of doing things to my own initiative. Hell, I’ve even been trusted to drive a transit van with delicate perishables in the back! Rather than worrying about how ill be able to do all of that driving, I’ve worried about how I wouldn’t have been able to help or become an asset in those circumstances.

If you’ve been on the fence about driving, this post may give you a little push to give it a go and see what you think. Of you’ve never thought about as someone older than a teenage, I would wholeheartedly encourage you to consider it. Like me, it could be the best thing you never wanted to happen!

Thanks for reading, J xx


I couldn’t help but wonder – could I become East Yorkshire’s answer to Carrie Bradshaw? Finding a niche that fits

I’m not the ultimate sassy singleton with a Manhattan apartment, a fabulous wardrobe and a great social life. BUT – I have found my Mr Big (without the on and off bits), I’m in my mid thirties and I’ve had a decent bit of life experience. Also, I’m a writer. Whereas Carrie Bradshaw had a somewhat aversion to technology (no e-mail, no online shopping, I can’t relate) and was a published columnist in a newspaper, I am a slightly more technology friendly (shop online, send lots of e-mails, bit behind with tools like SEO and PPC) who publishes blog posts in a little corner of the internet. Same shit, different day.

Something that differentiates us further as writers is that Carrie writes about one pretty specific topic – Sex. Well; sex, relationships and NYC. That’s her USP. She has a wealth of experience in dating and sexual encounters from a young age, and has a group of friends around her who have the same experience that she draws on as inspiration. As a result each column appears relatable and thought provoking. The gal found her niche.

When I first started my blog, my sole focus was fashion content (with the odd bit of food thrown in) because that was the interest that ignited my passion. I was going for a kind of style diary vibe. As my interests developed, my content and posting schedule kind of went a bit haywire. There was less cohesion and at times a lot less frequency. And, let’s be honest, the world and her Instagram husband were doing fashion blogs at the time so it wasn’t exactly a niche market I was trying to hustle in.

So now, I’ve found myself wondering “do all writers, or bloggers, need a niche?”

I’ve decided that they don’t. I believe that if you’re passionate about writing you can write about most things – in my day job I work within an industry that doesn’t interest me on a personal level but I enjoy the challenge of writing from a different perspective and to a different audience. However, I do think that as a blogger these days it helps massively to have a bit of a USP so that people choose to read your content over others. That doesn’t necessarily have to be WHAT you write about; it could be the way the style you write it in, or a common theme that ties each post together.

So, that poses another question “what could MY niche be?”

Over the last few weeks I’ve found that the best way for me to feel in control of my posting schedule is to commit to just one post per week. That way, have plenty of time to plan/generate content and it’s kind of like a weekly column, a la Carrie. I’ve also noticed that the inspiration behind what I want to write has shifted. Something as simple as a quote on the TV, an online article or a chat with friends has sparked a different kind of creativity, one that has taken me into more real life topics and sharing my perspective on them. And you know what? I’m here for it.

So I finally, I feel I have found a kind of niche that fits – a weekly chat about a topic on which I have experience, those around me have experience and that (hopefully) has an element of relate-ability and usefulness to those who choose to read it. Just like Carrie.

Does that make me East Yorkshire’s answer to Carrie Bradshaw? Nope. She her her niche, and I have mine. Both great, both valid, but never likely to meet over a cosmo.

Thanks for reading,

J xx


Let’s Chat – March 2020

Well, I think I can speak for the majority of us when I say that I didn’t quite expect the month to go down like this! It really just goes to show that bad things happen close to home that we care to realise sometimes. I hope you enjoy the ‘wearing’ section, outfits are mainly Next and Primark.

  • I’m That Bitch, Rupaul Drag Race Season 12 Queens: “I-I-I’m that bitch, that’s the way it is..” this is such an ear worm of a tune! It’s a great distraction from the outside world
  • Wasabi, Little Mix: How have I only just discovered this banger?!? I think it may be my favourite LM song
  • Gone Girl: First time I’ve re-watched since it came out at the cinema and I enjoyed just as much
  • Rupaul’s Drag Race: I’ve been catching up with season 6 re-runs and the new eps on season 12. There are too many Queens I’m living for at this stage, and I can’t get those challenge songs outta my head!
  • Man With a Plan: This series has just come to the UK and stars Matt le Blanc as a dad of 3 who has to take a more active parenting role when his wife decides to go back to work. It’s a typical cheesy American sitcom, just an easy breezy watch

As you can imagine,I had quite a different month from the one planned. Whilst it was still deemed safe to do so at the beginning of the month, I went back to Lesley Wilks for my annual nanoblading top up. I went a couple months early because I wanted them to be super fresh for my big holiday in April, which has now been cancelled. If you’re thinking of getting nanoblading have a read of the post I wrote on it last year

Other than that, I was simply working until the middle of the month when I started to feel knackered for no apparent reason. Then I started to feel hot all the time, which I put down to wearing jumpers and drinking hot liquids. The day after that I started to get a sore throat that worsened as the day went on, so went straight into self isolation ever since. My symptoms continued but didn’t develop and were manageable, but I have no idea if this is THE illness (no testing offered due to symptoms not being too severe) or another illness with hugely unfortunate timing.

Like everybody else in the world, this has meant that I missed out on some stuff in life, really big stuff at that. My dream holiday that I’ve waited a decade to take, celebrating our 10 ten year wedding anniversary and (most heartbreakingly) not being able to visit my nana in hospital just before she passed away. Or being able to be with my family to give and receive comfort during this difficult time. I feel guilty, upset, angry, numb and poorly. I’m not trying to play a game of who has it worst, but this has been my experience.

At difficult times, we HAVE to trust the people in charge to give us the best advice to keep us safe. We just have to. If we don’t have that hope, the world will continue to go to shit and I can’t face the prospect of that. We all know what we’re supposed to be doing, so let’s just do that and hope we can come out of this as quickly as possible. We’re so lucky to have technology that helps keep us in touch with people across the whole world, so we need to use this to it’s full and most positive potential.

Thanks for reading and wishing you all the very best for the weeks ahead,

J xx


Being married for a decade

“I married him, reader”

On this day a whole decade ago, I signed a piece of paper in front of forty or so people saying I was willing to share my life with one other person. That’s a fairly formal way of saying “it’s my ten year wedding anniversary today, eek!”

I know what you’re thinking no “Jenny, you only look about 25. Where you a child bride?” and to that I’d blush sweetly and say thank you. The answer I’m afraid is no, I’m simply quite juvenile and camera filters have improved over the past few years…

The other thing that’s improved in that time is my ability to reflect, so today, in honor of this milestone, I’m sharing with you what being in a long term relationship has taught me.

You’re not a gold digger if your partner pays for more things than you. This might sounds ridiculous, or old fashioned, take it as you will, but when the Mr and I first started going out one of his ‘friends’ said he should watch himself around me because I was I gold digging bitch. I was furious, and at the time it was highly untrue (he lived in MY house and our incomes were pretty similar). Over the years our salaries, jobs and approach to paying for our lifestyle have changed a lot, and between us we have agreed what we are both happy with. I’m secure in the fact that he sometimes pays for more because he wants to, and he’s fully aware that I’d be aiming for someone older and richer if I was in fact after money. At least I think he’s aware of that.

I still find myself surprised by how much he loves me. Just when I think he’s told me or showed me in all the ways possible, he will say or do something that makes me sit back and go “wow, I didn’t know you cared that much”.

I still wear the trousers when I need to. My hubby is a LOT more opinionated and strong than people give him credit for in our relationship (people presume that because I’m more talkative he is therefore passive. Nope, not even close!) but that doesn’t mean there are times when he sees the benefit of sending me to bat when there’s a time I’m likely to make a stronger point or get a better result. I’m a very constructive complainer (yes, that’s a thing) and am less shy about being assertive in public, so I tend to handle the more difficult situations that need that kind of approach.

I gained the biggest cheerleader I’ve ever had. Don’t get me wrong, my mum is an amazing lady and has done a cracking job of inspiring and lifting me up, but she’s no longer at home for me every single day to pick me up off the floor if things are a bit rubbish or talk through my many random musings and ideas.

You can have a wonderfully close and healthy relationship without seeing each other on the toilet. Look; I’m not a prude, I know he poos and he knows I do, but I have zero desire to witness it unless of medical emergency.

Don’t get me wrong, there are also sometimes negative things to a long term relationship too – I’m not going to talk about those here because there really are very few of them, and if any were that bad I wouldn’t be writing this post at all!

I feel extremely lucky to have my Husband in my life. He’s a decent bloke who is very clever, insightful and kind. He’s also silly as hell, but that’s only a side I get to see (which is a real shame because he’s hilarious). Here’s to the next 10 years and beyond!

Thanks for reading,

J xx


Thoughts and actions that creative minds will totally relate to

Having a great idea for a concept, sitting down to do it and thinking “how the frick do I start this?”

Having tonnes of scrappy bits of paper/phone notes with random words and phrases on so you don’t forget ideas, but then they languish at the bottom of your bag and you forget to look at them for weeks

Getting a sudden flash of inspiration whilst doing something else creative, and you must stop immediately to do the new thing.

Getting the best spark of creativity you’ve had all day as you’re trying to drift off to sleep, but not acting on it because you know your other half would kick off if you got up to work on it and kept them awake.

Doing all the little tasks around your house that’d land you an Olympic gold in procrastination.

Thanks for reading, J xx


Should we dress to impress?

Dress to impress. That phrase we’ve all heard umpteen times, seen on invitations, heard Gok Wan utter on dozens of TV shows over the years.

But what does it really mean; what is the definition of dressing to impress? Should we dress to impress, and if so who is it exactly is it that we’re trying to impress?

Dress up for your man. Now, how da hellllll do you do this?? When you’ve been in a relationship for over a decade as I have, your other half is either brutally honest about outfits they hate you in or say you look nice to get you out the door without having a meltdown (this is not to say he doesn’t ever genuinely like what I wear, but I’m tuned in enough to know the difference). We can only guess what men would be impressed by us wearing, and (spoiler alert) it may not be something you’re necessarily comfortable in. I’m not saying all men are into boobs out/short skirts/tight clothing (not all together obvs) but I’m willing to bet most of our stereotypical minds think they are most of the time.

Dress for the approval or other woman. This tends to be the one people do the most. We don’t say we do it, but I know from experience that I feel way more chuffed when a female has come up to me and asked about what I’m wearing. A lot of clothing women appreciate tends to be referred to as ‘man repelling’ which kind of backs up what I said earlier about what we think men want to see women wearing. But then, every woman has her own opinion about what looks nice too – some are into showing off what they’ve got, some are fashun forward to the enth degree, others may be docs and tee dresses all day errrr day.

Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. If you want to be a zoo keeper – should you wear khaki and carry a massive net? (I fully appreciate this is a super outdated stereotype, given I used to work in an industry where I came into contact with animal keepers). OK, that’s a bit of an outlandish example, but you get my point. For other more ‘usual jobs’ this is more ambiguous I’d say – my day job is marketing, but during my career I’ve worked in environments where I have to be very smartly dressed and others were being casual is encouraged. So if someone who wanted to work in the same profession wanted to impress and didn’t know the company culture, what would they wear? The default would likely be a suit or similar, but that could disengage the interviewers if that’s not how they do things.

Dress for yourself. THIS IS THE ONE YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO. Think about it – nobody knows better than you what you like, what you feel good in, what suits your shape and lifestyle. Only you can truly tell yourself that you feel good in what you have on (I don’t care how many people pay you compliments about your appearance; if you don’t believe it yourself it’ll never stick) and when that happens confidence will radiate out of you. I’ve you’re feeling confident the world will notice and respond to that – people you’re attracted to, other girls, a prospective employer. Now that’s impressive.

Thanks for reading, J xx


Let’s Chat – February 2020

For a short month (even though we had an extra day in it this year) I’ve had a super busy time!

Slight disclaimer – I’ve been pretty terrible at taking pictures of what I’ve been wearing (hair and nails are in) but I can reveal I’ve been enjoying a lot of faux leather and statement sleeves..

  • Bad Boys for Life soundtrack
  • Bon Jovi Jonas Brothers
  • Throwback hits on Viking FM

  • Bad Boys for Life: it’s the perfect balance between super serious action film and cheesy cop comedy, deffo recommend
  • Sex Education season 2: even more unanswered questions than the end of last season, sure there’s going to be a third, right?

  • -Saw Michael McIntyre live: last minute warm up gig for his Netflix spesh
  • Saw Lloyd Griffith live: #LetLloydSingAtWembley
  • Saw Jimmy Carr live: a crazy woman claiming she was called Hilary Clinton heckled, a LOT
  • I went on the radio: this time I was on the BBC Radio Humberside afternoon show talking about how blogging can make you more employable (based on this post)
  • Saw Phil Wang live: have we seen a pattern for the month here?? Usually our comedy gigs are far more spaced out, but if ever there was a time I needed a good laugh it’s now so I’m kinda grateful
  • Holiday booking: I’ve booked a girls trip to Ibiza for the month after for my sister-in-law’s 40th birthday. We’re doing the full shebang with Ocean Beach and everything. I’m excited yet a bit scared!
  • I met Latrice Royale: After being kindly gifted entry to the first Pride in Hull Queer AF event in January, myself and Kat booked (and paid for) tickets to the second event which was headlined by Drag Race Season 4 alum Latrice.

2020 is already proving pretty busy and expensive, but I’m very much here for it so far!

Thanks for reading, J xx


It’s OK not to be OK, but is it OK not to want to talk about not being OK?

If you made it through the tong twisting title, thanks for sticking with me on this one!*

It’s OK not to be OK. How many times have you heard or read this phrase? A fair few I’m willing to bet. I’m not going to dispute the authenticity of it, because I firmly believe it to be true. Everybody is different and reactions to different scenarios are a very individual thing. Just because you’re OK with something and somebody else is not doesn’t give you the right to question why they’re not, they’re just not. More importantly, they may not even know why they’re not.

Not being OK (and to be clear, by ‘not OK’ I’m talking about mental health) can be a difficult concept to grasp but those who are OK. It’s tough to understand something you have no experience with, and I do think we forget that when we see people behaving less than supportively towards those struggling. On one hand, it’s a positive that they’ve never been through illness that can be so dibilitating. On the other, they will never have the complete picture of exactly how the human brain can do torturous things to its host, or how it can receive the actions of others. You may live with someone or have a friend that’s gone through mental health issues and think you get it, but unless it’s you personally then you just don’t.

Whether you understand mental health and illness personally or not, every single person can choose how they approach and deal with those who these issues. Any human being is capable of showing understanding, kindness and support, yet some (an increasing number of, alarmingly) choose not to be these things. THAT’S the problem.

I think if society were to tackle mental wellbeing by starting with the people who are responsible for a lack of awareness and empathy that we’d stand a better chance of getting this in hand. You see, for once – it’s not you, it’s them. There can be all the destigmatisation and and support services in the land, but if people are still running around behaving like bad human beings then it’s kinda pointless.

I think most importantly, we all need to bear in mind that absolutely anybody could suffer with their mental health and some point without actually having a long term mental health condition. If you are somebody that currently doesn’t behave as a decent human being when approaching the mental health of others, I hope you bear this in mind.

Thanks for reading, J xx

Disclaimer: All of the words above are my personal opinions. They are not intended to offend, simply open a discussion on a very hot topic from a different perspective.